MTN Leak

Anyone who hoped that toxic assets were a thing of the past may be alarmed to find out that traders are again trying to detoxify — although thankfully this is detoxification of the green tea variety.

With the eurozone crisis under the microscope yet again this week, and all the talk of doom and gloom, Leak has been exceedingly pleased to find dealers doing their utmost to ensure that the world of medium term notes remains in good hands for at least one more generation.

Leak had a fine time at Nomura’s box at the home of cricket last weekend. Lord’s was a very English affair, more so than we had expected. We had been told that the match would be England vs India, but instead it turned out to be Somerset vs Surrey. Leak wondered whether perhaps the mistake was a ruse to get people to turn up.

Leak has to confess to feeling somewhat confused last Friday. Armed with crampons and ice picks and heading up an icy volcano (alright, a glacier kind of near a volcano), we weren’t entirely sure if Islandsbanki was planning on doing away with some capital markets bankers (and gossip columnists) on its annual Discover Iceland event.

What a dark horse that Olly Johnson is, but could he soon be turning into a grey? Bank of America Merrill Lynch’s MTN supremo has already wrongfooted us once — by recently turning 40 while his youthful looks seemed to suggest his next milestone ought to be his university graduation or passing his driving test. There must be a school photograph of Olly in the Johnson family archive that now shows a man of advanced years.

Where is much cause for celebration among MTNers this week, and much cause for sadness among the ladies of Canary Wharf. Retailers — expect sales of chocolate ice cream and Kleenex to go through the roof.

Even the most notorious MTNers claim that they have not been up to anything gossip-worthy in recent days — and Leak knows why. They must be saving up their alcoholic antics for the annual Discover Iceland seminar, hosted by Islandsbanki on September 9.

Occasionally, rather than filling this column with interesting nuggets of gossip, and sparkling witticisms from across our little part of the capital markets, Leak is obliged to turn to more serious matters. Sadly, this week is such a week.

"Irresponsible…", "Out of control…", "Mindless thugs…", "Feral rats..." It’s amazing how anger suddenly drives the mind to come up with the most creative insults. But enough about Europe’s finance ministers — what about those riots, eh?

Will MTN deals be collectible like number plates one day? Leak has been mulling the possibility this week, after Bank of America Merrill Lynch printed some Peruvian soles for the Kexim, 15m of them to be precise. Yep, PEN15m.

The UBS entertainment saga rumbles on. In a shock new development, silver screen mogul David Morland’s colleague Paul Jones has been left without television, music, or anything electrical in his home, following a power surge.

Here at Leak we are acutely aware that we have been giving a lot of attention to the sporting exploits of MTN bankers recently. There was Filippo Ginanni’s Kenyan marathon (blighted by injury) and Paul Sullivan’s mini-marathon (in which he achieved a suitably mini time — around the half-hour mark, we’re told).