MTN Leak

It is Leak’s great honour to announce the latest little bundle of happiness to arrive on an MTN dealer’s lap.

As if the spiralling cost of energy wasn’t enough, poor Smit Acharya of BNP Paribas has to deal with an extra dose of the winter blues — a wonky thermostat.

It may be the multicultural make-up of the MTN market’s array of accents or a dodgy phone line, but the gang certainly seemed to be getting up to some interesting behaviour this week.

The MTN market was awash with excitement this week — not only with Kommunalbanken’s annual bash at the Norwegian ambassador’s house, but at the news that the market’s most famed double-acts had reunited.

With the spirits and ghouls awakening for Halloween, it seems that the clairvoyants of the MTN world were able to call on their spirit guides this week.

Most people know the delusional feeling of jet lag, walking around in a haze confused and killing time until it’s appropriate to collapse into bed. But Commerzbank’s Andrew Nicola found that jet lag gave him a new hobby — riding escalators.

After last week’s thrilling report on the exciting new(ish) sport of virtual golf, Leak would like to bring you the next big thing in unreality sport — indoor skydiving.

When last we met our hero, he narrowly averted a mass riot caused by a careless dog walker. Now, read on for the second exciting chapter of Smit Acharya — Extreme Commuter.

With lots of corporate issuers printing for the first time and a fresh investor base looking at club deals this year, you’d be forgiven for thinking that Christmas had come early to the MTN world. But now it seems it actually has.

Love is in the air this weekend, with Commerzbank’s Andrew Nicola set to make an honest lady of fiancée Faize on Sunday after seven years together. Preparations are in their final stages, but there could be one stumbling block, Andrew confided in us this week.

MTN’s international man of mystery was at it again last week, evading motorcycle mounted assassins down an Olympic-class bobsleigh run.

While most people are turned away from alcohol establishments on grounds of having had a tipple too many or failing to meet the dress code, poor Anshuman Mehta of HSBC has been barred for reasons of pure snobbery.