The one man army that runs banks

GLOBALCAPITAL INTERNATIONAL LIMITED, a company

incorporated in England and Wales (company number 15236213),

having its registered office at 4 Bouverie Street, London, UK, EC4Y 8AX

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The one man army that runs banks

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I feel for today’s bankers. Nearly every bank is cutting headcount and the toll this is taking on the quality of their output is becoming visible in ludicrous ways.

I was catching up with a few of the boys at Captain’s Bar and we were discussing the ‘squeeze two’s work out of one mantra’ being followed by firms today. And one of the chaps, a former client who helped me pocket many fat cheques during my time, was particularly passionate about the topic.

A little probing revealed the reason was a recent meeting he had with representatives of his trusty bank. My friend arrived on the dot for the pre-arranged meeting, only to be placed in an empty room for nearly 15 minutes, with little to do but tap his shoes on the wooden floor.

His wait was finally interrupted by what looked like a junior bloke — the ones who stay up late in the night making pointless PowerPoint presentations for their bosses — panting and carrying photocopies of the presentation be discussed.

The pages were still warm from having been printed only moments ago and my friend was more than a little exasperated at this disorder. But just as he was about to tick him off, a senior associate entered the room.

It wasn't the young fellow’s fault, his senior said. The man was trying to cover the tasks of five of his colleagues — all of whom recently received the pink slip. While not an excuse for being shoddy, my friend did commiserate and bought the chap a couple of drinks over lunch. That’s what I call all in a day’s work. 

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