Fast cars and faster women

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Fast cars and faster women

Beijing Motor Show

I’m a man well versed in luxury so I wasn’t at all surprised when a hand-written invitation to the Beijing Auto Show arrived from my godson Torsten. "Do come," it said, "I’m unveiling the new Rolls."

I, naturally, had been given a preview ahead of the event and the Pinnacle Travel Phantom is a magnificent beast that speaks to my every boyhood dream.

I broke news of the invitation to Tai Tai, who did not seem to share my excitement and returned glowering some minutes later having a Googled a pictured from last year’s event of a young woman clad only in the coils of a snake, draped over the front of a Porsche.

“How disgraceful,” I exclaimed, delighted at the prospect, of course.

Now I’m certainly not one for anything as vulgar as a Ferrari but in Beijing my head was turned by a very sleek red number. She looked rather fast but I approached with the confidence of a man in a sharply tailored suit and buoyed by a bottle of champagne.

She greeted me with a kiss and enquired as to whether I’d seen anything I liked. Flustered, I motioned towards the car. She was extremely attentive, all the while cooing over its luxurious interior.

I was quite taken and was just about to ask her to join us for dinner when a small, moneyed-looking man approached. She dropped me quicker than you can say "cylinder head", and I heard her seductively ask whether he’d seen anything he liked. Talk about being taken for a ride.

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