What Adolescence can teach the capital markets

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What Adolescence can teach the capital markets

The pay-off of keeping work at bay when it comes to family is bigger than the downside

Do not leave in virtual life spend time with your relatives concept. Photo of serious kid and his bearded in checkered shirt dad holding telephones in

The Netflix series Adolescence, about the consequences of what children get up to when their parents aren't around to watch them, has prompted national discussion in the UK, and has been among the streaming service's most popular programmes around the world.

It has even cut through to capital markets, prompting a number of bankers speaking to GlobalCapital in recent days to think about their work-life balance, and whether they are present enough for their children.

In many cases, if they are being honest with themselves, they aren’t. The investment banking life is intense; full of travel and out of hours meetings. Many would love to spend more time with family, but a prevailing belief that management rewards only performance and P&L makes it difficult for many to feel confident to switch off, especially when it is the banker in the family who invariably earns the outsized pay packet and all the prestige and privilege that affords.

But it appears that watching the Netflix show has underlined for many parents, particularly fathers, how important parent-child relationships are.

Reconciling the demands of work and family is hard, especially in an industry where being fired is an occupational hazard and remaining relevant feels vital — even if those months spent looking for a new job tend to remind the sacked what a joy it is to be at home with the kids.

Perhaps bankers should consider the golden handcuffs that come with their careers before they take on raising a family. Maybe it would have been sensible never to have got used to sports cars, prime London property, second homes and ski chalets, to which will be added in time exorbitant school fees.

But the reality is that once acquired, it is hard to ditch a lifestyle.

Boundaries

The good news is — as so many articles have suggested of working mothers down the years — capital markets bankers can have it all... sort of.

First, quality time is more important than quantity. Having enough energy at the end of the day to have a meaningful talk with a child is better than spending a longer time at home distracted by emails, calls and general worrying.

Second, some desks have reputations as much better than others for work/life balance. Seek those out and make them your aspirational next move, rather than simply chasing money and a more prestigious business card.

Third, don't be afraid to be a pioneer for parenting rights. The assumption is often that a request to carve out time for family will be met with a flat no. But the experience of at least one banker GlobalCapital spoke to this week is that in practice, your institution will bend to meet you when it comes to family. The truth is that many never even ask, even though the worst that can happen is to be told no.

Some banks now offer good amounts of parental leave to both parents. However, even when this is fully paid, take-up from men is rare in the City as they fear the impact it will have on the perception of their commitment to work — more so than in other comparable careers.

In the UK, both parents also benefit from a government mandate to employers to allow extra time off to spend with children. Employees may take four weeks a year unpaid, up to a maximum of 16 weeks, while children are young.

That's an easier proposition to swallow than forgoing school fees, large houses, boats or cars.

But there is an even more practical solution; one that can be put in place immediately and daily. That is to draw lines which clients and colleagues cannot cross.

To take one extreme example, it seems unlikely that a banker travelling to Germany for a weekend to help a client move house is vital to the success of the bank.

More commonly, it means making yourself unavailable at certain times of day when family takes precedence. If you really must take that call, take it at 8.30 after the kids are in bed.

As many women who have opted to work part-time after having children can attest, the same results can often be achieved in a truncated working day as a full one.

Seize the day? Rubbish! Decide to stop at a certain time and do it.

As for the practice of not leaving the office until after the boss has, that is surely as ridiculous and outdated as it sounds.

Health scare

Some will scoff at these suggestions and say they are unrealistic, even unnecessary.

But the risks of stress and overwork are serious. Suicide is the single largest cause of death for men under the age of 50, according to the men's mental health charity HeadsUpGuys, and is highest during the ages of 45-49, according to the Office for National Statistics — around the time when career pressures mount and kids are still at home.

The bankers GlobalCapital has spoken to who have tried to keep work in its box for the sake of health and family say they have not felt penalised for doing so.

The old cliché that women could have it all turned out to be untrue. However, the prevailing truth for everyone appears to be that it is a matter of prioritising what is most important, day by day, month by month and year by year.

This column is directed at men because we don’t know one female banker with children who is not already very aware of having to make these choices already.

It is quite likely that many men do not even believe they have a choice — or not one they believe doesn't come with a heavy cost for prioritising family.

But it is time more men stopped to consider the real cost — to their children, their families, and themselves — of a gruelling status quo that is within their power to change.

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