I’m toast, but how do I get out unburnt?

Dear ON,

Let me get straight to the point. You’re almost certainly toast. Even if your boss is fired, you’re still toast. So you have to get ready now so that you won’t be burnt toast.

There’s a peculiar form of workplace limbo that sets in when your boss greets your every achievement with a grimace and your best ideas with a dismissive wave. You’re caught in that unsettling space where your formal reviews say “satisfactory”, but your boss’s daily behaviour screams “get out”. This is an agonising form of professional purgatory.

First, we must acknowledge the elephant in the corner office. When a superior constantly undermines you, it’s seldom about your performance. Your boss doesn’t like you or doesn’t want you around. Maybe it’s personal, maybe it’s political, who knows? The writing is on the wall, and you need to read it. The organisation has emotionally checked out on you but hasn’t yet found the appropriate bureaucratic moment to make it official.

You’re likely on what I call the “pre-exit runway.” It’s the stretch where the decision has been made to “decruit“ you, but the formalities aren’t in place. The slights (subtle and overt) and negative feedback are like the rumble strips before the runway — a signal to fasten your seatbelt.

But here’s the good news: runways aren’t just for forced landings; they’re also for take-offs. Here’s your pre-flight checklist:

Document everything — And I mean everything. Keep a meticulous record of interactions, meetings, and decisions. Follow up with emails summarising discussions: “As we discussed in today’s meeting...” This isn’t just about preparing for a legal battle (though it might come in handy), but rather about protecting your sanity. When the gaslighting begins, your paper trail will be your lifeline and sanity check. That said, don’t assume you’ll have a winning legal case — just ensure that everything you document is accurate and factual. Use the law, don’t abuse it.

Build your ark before the flood — Start discreetly exploring other opportunities, whether with other banks, the buy-side, or even companies. But be strategic — the City’s gossip network makes the proverbial American high school cafeteria look like a gathering of Carmelite nuns at nap time. You need to approach your outreach with calm, calculated interest. Experienced people in this industry can detect desperation from a mile away — make sure no one smells it on you.

Shore up your internal network — Your boss may not be your ally, but who else can support you? Cultivate relationships with other senior colleagues, department heads, and even HR (though they won’t likely save you, no matter the injustice). A wider network of advocates can be valuable if things come to a head. They can also be useful references for future job searches.

Keep performing — This is vital. Stay professional, maintain high standards, and continue to log your achievements. Nothing throws off a hostile boss more than someone who keeps delivering under pressure. Plus, if they’re planning your exit, make them work for it. “You stay classy, San Diego,” as Ron Burgundy says.

Prepare your story — Start crafting how you’ll explain your departure in future interviews. Don’t disparage your boss. Sometimes it pays to be laconic. “It didn’t work out between us, but there’s no hard feelings,” is not a terrible starting point and comes across better than bleating “My boss treats me like something he found on the bottom of his shoe”.

I appreciate that it’s tempting to hope that this is just a phase, that your boss will have an epiphany or change of heart during your next review, or that somehow you can salvage the situation with some feat of deal making derring-do. But in all my years in investment banking, I’ve learned that when it comes to toxic boss-employee relationships, hope is not a strategy. There’s not going to be a happy ending to the story of your employment at this bank. I love Journey’s music, but you must “stop believin’“.

Think of this situation like a trading position gone wrong. The smart move isn’t to double down and hope the market turns; it’s to manage your risk and take the L while looking for better opportunities. Your current position is irretrievably underwater; it’s time to develop your exit strategy while you still have leverage.

This isn’t easy advice to swallow but consider it part of the long game. Your career is a marathon, not a sprint. Setbacks are inevitable, but they’re also survivable. Everyone in this business has faced reversals that seemed crushing at the time. The silver lining is that this ordeal is teaching you critical skills in crisis management, strategic thinking, and professional resilience — qualities that will serve you well in your next role.

In the meantime, keep your head high, your records detailed, and your LinkedIn profile updated. And remember, some of the best career moves in banking have started with a boss who couldn’t see the talent sat right in front of them.

Stay sharp, stay classy — and stay positive,

Craig