When the clubbing had to stop

Dear NAI,

Welcome to the hunger games of high stakes finance, where envy and insecurity drive some people to distraction.

Your mid-year review is less about your actual performance and more about how your happiness and contentment rub others up the wrong way.

Here’s the harsh reality: your boss’s criticism is at most only tangentially related to your work ethic.

Your crisis may be mid-year but senior bankers, who may be going through various types of mid-life crisis, often grapple with their own unfulfilled ambitions and struggle to accept that others might find joy and satisfaction outside the relentless grind. If your boss is fixated on your Instagram posts, it’s because your happiness contrasts sharply with his own dissatisfaction.

He might see your social media as evidence of what he’s missing out on, making you an easy target for his misplaced frustration. He’s thinking: “Why does this minion have a fun life while I’m trapped in a loveless marriage with moody and ungrateful kids?”

This is the dark side of the phenomenon known as FOMO: the ressentiment of having missed out on life’s greatest pleasures in pursuit of career success.

So, when your boss says you’re not working hard enough, he’s acting as a spoiler because he’s quietly miserable. This is — quite literally — pathetic, but you have to deal with it. If you’re enjoying life, he infers that they’re not working you hard enough.

The same goes for your colleagues, the backstabbing Brutuses who reported your social media activity to your manager: they are likely suffering from their own discontent. They’re probably burned out and envious of the work-life balance you seem to enjoy. Instead of addressing their own misery, they want to drag you to their pit of despair.

All this is office politics at its most poisonous. What can I say? People can sometimes be petty. It’s not unique to banking, either.

In today’s world, the boundary between personal and professional life is increasingly porous. Welcome to the corporate panopticon!

Even though your Instagram is private, the reality is that your social media presence can impact your job. Recreational drug-taking (even cannabis), a tasteless remark or a wacko political opinion can get you the sack if posted online, even if the setting was private and had no connection whatsoever to work. This intrusion into your private life is an inevitable byproduct of a modern corporate culture obsessed with reputational risk.

You can debate its fairness, but it’s the world we live in. As I often say in these columns, you have to deal with the world as it is, not as you’d like it to be. And that means you need to navigate these blurred lines with care.

Here’s your action plan:

Clean House: it’s time for the Great Unfollowing.

Remove all work-related connections from your social media. This might seem like overkill, but not everyone in your network has your best interests at heart. Colleagues may seem like friends, but it sounds like some see themselves as rivals or have some festering pathology.

Protect your privacy by limiting your audience to those you know you can trust.

Curate Wisely: Focus on sharing neutral or positive content that won’t provoke envy or criticism.

Family photos, pets, charity work and non-controversial hobbies such as gardening, camping and stamp collecting are safe bets. Avoid posting anything that could be perceived as extravagant or hedonistic, as it might stir up negative feelings among colleagues. Don’t post anything from Drumsheds or Ushuaia. No one should know you get table service at Jimmy’z or dance on the tables at Nammos. Transform your Instagram into mind-numbing mundanity.

Reframe the Narrative: Master the fine art of looking like you’re coping, but just barely.

When someone asks how you are, put a pained look on your face, heave a dramatic sigh, and say “I’m OK, hanging in there, I’m working so hard, but it’s great to be busy!” You need to snuff out the perception you’re lazy and not 100% dedicated to The Cause. Wince, but don’t be too winsome.

Stay Vigilant: You may be the nicest, friendliest, most diligent person in the world, but you have critics and enemies who have managed to turn your boss (somewhat) against you.

Don’t be upset, and don’t take it personally. Just be extra-careful whom you confide in. Keep your cards closer to your chest than a Vegas poker champion.

Remember, the higher you climb, the more scrutiny you fall under. People want to see your struggles and pain etched on your face, not your snowboard tracks carved in untouched powder on a snowy January day in the Alps.