Not even one full round of mwahahahas had been uttered before a senior Swedish loans banker was in touch to complain about how he had almost choked on his knäckebröd.
What had got the banker so worked up? Braces.
“Since when should we in an English magazine take dressing advice from ze Germanz in their oversized waistcoats and ill fitted off-the-peg suits?” he demanded.
You mean braces are OK then…?
“Every gentleman knows that braces make it possible to tailor the trousers better, which is flattering,” he continued. “Braces have been around since before Germany existed but became perhaps known to some Germans thanks to Michael Douglas in the 1980s.... and that particular film was, by the way, not a "bad film" at all.... as your host suggested.......all wrong basically!”
Pressed on what constitutes good Swedish style, the banker said this was difficult to answer.
“Here we are more anxiously trendy and everyone tends to look the same,” he mused. “Currently it's beard and hipster style out of some Wes Anderson film…”
Which is the way many London bankers have been going. (You know the beard fad has reached its tipping point when it becomes acceptable in the financial markets. How can you separate bankers from journos these days? On second thoughts...)
But our Swedish banker is not one to follow the hipster herd.
“As an admirer of braces I instead tend to follow Oscar Wilde's advice,” he said. “The only way to avoid being unmodern is never to try to be modern... so my style icon is Prince Charles. We are ahead of the fashion cycle every 10-15 years.”
Loan Ranger didn’t stoop so low as to point out Prince Charles is a little bit German.
This wasn’t the last of the week’s comeback on Loan Ranger’s cheek, however. He was to discover that karma can be served decaffeinated.
An otherwise very pleasant meeting at the office of another senior loans banker – who admits to reading the column – was slightly tainted by him pointing out towards the end of it that he had “accidentally forgotten” to give us coffee or biscuits.
The banker then went on to describe how his building has a beautiful roof terrace, on which one can enjoy a fine game of croquet on a summer’s day.
“One of these days I’m going to enjoy a case of beer up there,” he said with a smile as we parted company.
That, at least, will never go out of fashion.
