This was a dangerous mood to be in, given the cultural/astrological confluence of both Shrove Tuesday and Chinese New Year. Loan Ranger is not wont to shirk such traditions, and set about marking the back-to-back occasions in a state of culinary fervour.
OK, Loan Ranger fell short of the giddy heights reached by Australian world champion pancake eater Hungry Haydo, who in 2013 ate 80 pancakes in 17 minutes 26 seconds. And Loan Ranger also mindfully avoided the fate of the poor Russian gladiator who died on stage in 2009 after annexing 43 pancakes. But it was a pretty good effort, nevertheless, with a somewhat stodgy loan pipeline giving way to rich French crepes for lunch and a barrage of British batter in the evening.
Then, still clutching his stomach, Loan Ranger took the opportunity to join HSBC on Wednesday evening to welcome in the Year of the Goat. Loan bankers of any superstitious disposition will be hoping that the goat lives up to its favourable regard as a herald of promise and prosperity.
Loan Ranger, however, took it as a herald of unending quantities of vegetarian dim sum. With hands like a factory conveyor belt operator and backed by the appropriate encouragement of an HSBC dim sum (bond) banker, he shovelled his way enthusiastically through countless platters of spring rolls, crispy turnip puffs and steamed vegetable dumplings with carrot juice pastry.
Loan Ranger could tell that global head of debt syndicate Jean-Marc Mercier was impressed by this exhibition and filled with confidence for the year ahead.
Other highlights of the event included a lion dance, which is traditionally performed by Chinese martial art schools or guilds. As is customary, the lion performed the task of “cai qing”, or “plucking the greens”. In the case of this scary-faced, eyelash-fluttering beast, that meant snatching up a lettuce that hung from the establishment’s ceiling and spitting the leaves about the floor. By tradition, the greens are tied together with a red envelope, which typically contains money or other auspicious items.
It took a fine feat of skill for Loan Ranger to narrowly jump out of way of the lion's flashing jaws while he himself grabbed a passing mini golden pumpkin pastry.
Let’s wish HSBC all the lettuce it can get – and for all of us a record-flipping, dim-sum-tastic year of prosperity.
